This is Dementia

In loving memory of Lillian Havenga (October 22, 1922 ~ September 2, 2021)

They can't remember where they've been,
a dark road ahead with an uncertain end. 

Now surrounded by shadows of doubt.

Is happiness dimmed by time,
or simply forgotten in the fog of forgetting?

Feeling like a fallen fruit, 
wanting only respect and acceptance.

They have become abandoned buildings;
former great designs now become mysteries.

Are regrets surrendered,
or abandoned?


Preferring comfortable habits,
fearing new experiences.

They are hidden behind the trees,
stuck inside the shadows. 


Trying to accept this new stage of life
with grace and dignity.

Struggling to accept their
dependence on others. 

Waiting at the gate,
but not knowing what for.

Now carrying new burdens
with the uncertainty of an orphan.

Brief fragments of understanding,
like razor-thin ice, are shattered
as they are formed.

Becoming a stranger to yourself. 

The memory becomes shallower,
like ripples upon the shore. 

Drifting in the eddy
between the former self
and the darkness ahead. 

Searching the darkness
with diminishing options,
seeking sameness for easier decisions.

Their memories grow old,
packed with stories often-told;

gathered into lumps of lint

deep in their warm pockets.

Now becoming transparent
inside their lonely days,
time refuses to move.

Thoughts are all tangled,

twisted into turmoil.

Silent as an old photograph
trying to hold on to yesterday.

Their parade of days
diminishing in the distance.

Their thoughts have gone astray.
There is nothing more to say.

© 2021 Richard Havenga

Photo Locations:

1. Ada, Michigan

2. Sierra Vista, Arizona

3. Kent County - Michigan

4. Fountain, Colorado

5. Buena Vista, Colorado

6. Loveland, Colorado

7. Grattan Township - Kent County - Michigan

8. Pickerel Lake Park - Kent County - Michigan

9. Home Woods - wetland - Kent County, Michigan

10. Lincoln Beach, Oregon

11. Pickerel Lake - Kent County - Michigan

12. Grand Teton National Park - Wyoming

13. Southern California

14. Yellowstone National Park - Wyoming

15. Olympic National Park - Washington

16. 1896 Schoolhouse - Elkhart, Kansas

17. Centennial, Wyoming

18. Lowell, Michigan

Remember These

These promising days
keep opening for you,
but closing too soon;

these spent days
becoming yesterdays,
accumulating into
dusty stacks of time,
old piles of years.

But,

if you listen carefully
some morning in spring,
when the Redbuds
warm the riverbanks,
and Flowering Dogwoods
reach out their slender arms of lace
to grace the edge of the woods;

if you listen carefully,
you may hear your dreams
still whispering in the breeze:

"Remember these."

© 2018 Richard Havenga

Photo Locations:

1. Grand Rapids Township - Kent County, Michigan 

2. Thornapple River - Caledonia Township - Kent County, Michigan

Long Horizon

Some of the young boys in this old school
didn't get to finish their education.

Had to leave early to help on the farm;
to groom, plant, irrigate and harvest
these long, flat fields in Kansas;
these long acres of bountiful wheat.

With dedication, grit and loyalty,
they persevered on the prairie,
fulfilling their obligations
to family survival.

Maybe returned to class for the winter.
Perhaps paid the price for their sacrifice.

You can still find them today, standing out in their fields,
looking back at the long horizon of yesterday.

© 2017 Richard Havenga

Photo Location:  1896 Schoolhouse ~ District 84 ~ Marion County, Kansas