This is Dementia

In loving memory of Lillian Havenga (October 22, 1922 ~ September 2, 2021)

They can't remember where they've been,
a dark road ahead with an uncertain end. 

Now surrounded by shadows of doubt.

Is happiness dimmed by time,
or simply forgotten in the fog of forgetting?

Feeling like a fallen fruit, 
wanting only respect and acceptance.

They have become abandoned buildings;
former great designs now become mysteries.

Are regrets surrendered,
or abandoned?


Preferring comfortable habits,
fearing new experiences.

They are hidden behind the trees,
stuck inside the shadows. 


Trying to accept this new stage of life
with grace and dignity.

Struggling to accept their
dependence on others. 

Waiting at the gate,
but not knowing what for.

Now carrying new burdens
with the uncertainty of an orphan.

Brief fragments of understanding,
like razor-thin ice, are shattered
as they are formed.

Becoming a stranger to yourself. 

The memory becomes shallower,
like ripples upon the shore. 

Drifting in the eddy
between the former self
and the darkness ahead. 

Searching the darkness
with diminishing options,
seeking sameness for easier decisions.

Their memories grow old,
packed with stories often-told;

gathered into lumps of lint

deep in their warm pockets.

Now becoming transparent
inside their lonely days,
time refuses to move.

Thoughts are all tangled,

twisted into turmoil.

Silent as an old photograph
trying to hold on to yesterday.

Their parade of days
diminishing in the distance.

Their thoughts have gone astray.
There is nothing more to say.

© 2021 Richard Havenga

Photo Locations:

1. Ada, Michigan

2. Sierra Vista, Arizona

3. Kent County - Michigan

4. Fountain, Colorado

5. Buena Vista, Colorado

6. Loveland, Colorado

7. Grattan Township - Kent County - Michigan

8. Pickerel Lake Park - Kent County - Michigan

9. Home Woods - wetland - Kent County, Michigan

10. Lincoln Beach, Oregon

11. Pickerel Lake - Kent County - Michigan

12. Grand Teton National Park - Wyoming

13. Southern California

14. Yellowstone National Park - Wyoming

15. Olympic National Park - Washington

16. 1896 Schoolhouse - Elkhart, Kansas

17. Centennial, Wyoming

18. Lowell, Michigan